Friends. Connie & Brian ran TWELVE miles together on their FIRST date! I had to start of with that because “Wow! Wow! Wow!” was all I could say when I found that out! I’m not even sure I can run twelve miles on a good day. Haha! These two met on Coffee Meets Bagel back in May of 2016. And now, in just a couple days, they’ll be saying their “I do”s!! Hooray!!!
“I made the first move by messaging him, and after speaking on the phone for a brief conversation, he suggested that we go jogging together that weekend. Since I was training for a marathon and he for a triathlon, it seemed like a perfect active date together. I expected a 4-5-mile casual run on a Saturday followed by a sweet brunch. Little did I know that Brian’s usual running trail was over 12 miles long… I was beat by the end of that run! We made up for lack of conversation during the run by going to brunch and talked about everything from favorite movies to our faith backgrounds.”
“I was intrigued after this first date but decided to place the ball in his court and wait for him to ask me out again, which thankfully he did a few days later. We spent our second date in San Francisco at the Asian Art museum laughing and pretending to understand art. Brian was forward and asked me out to a third date while we were still eating dinner on our second date to which I eagerly accepted. This time, we would test his prowess in the kitchen with a home-cooked meal. We continued to date for a couple more weeks and enjoyed our time together.”// Connie
In my eyes, Brian’s lucky she was down with the 12 mile hike… I would’ve turned and ran the other way. Haha! Connie, I seriously think you’re amazing for running that!!
“As we started talking, we traded phone numbers so I could be an old-fashioned gentleman and ask her out the old-fashioned way. And… she didn’t pick up. So I had to leave a super awkward voicemail. Luckily for me, she called back.
…Connie’s professional white coat ceremony photo told me she was a dedicated and serious individual, but her professed love of Christ drew me in. On our first date, her silliness and blunt sense of humor really came through as well.” // Brian
I love that he wanted to call Connie to ask her out! Love that old-fashioned charm! :) & Brian’s words are so true of Connie! When I first met Connie for coffee before their session, she was so kind and chill, and she had so many questions and thoughts that made it clear that she thoughtfully made decisions! Our conversation was a good combination of thoughtful, deep and still lighthearted! And then when we were on the shoot, I was so pleasantly surprised to see her silliness shine through with Brian! It was so cute! :)
Meeting these two in Pasadena for their engagement session was so much fun! Connie & John actually went to the same high school together, so it was cool reconnecting and getting to know one another! Hanging out with them was like hanging out with two fun friends–we got to joke around and talk a little bit about life as we ventured around the city! It was a sweet, sunshine-y day–perfect for their session!
“From the beginning, Brian made clear to me his intentions and I’ve never had to wonder how he felt about me. It was sweet and refreshing to be treated with respect and care by someone I was still getting to know. Being cautious with my heart, when he asked me to be his girlfriend a few weeks later, I initially said no. I told him I did not feel ready to commit but wanted to continue to learn more about him. Disappointed but undeterred, he accepted and continued to woo me. We started to read the Bible together and created a shared google doc to share our quiet time thoughts everyday. It made the distance from San Francisco to San Jose seem shorter. After a few more weeks, I felt ready to accept Brian into my life as my boyfriend as I grew more and more confident in his character.” // Connie
I love what Brian shared about what attracted him most to Connie: “Connie’s intentionality. She knows what she wants, and fortunately, has a God-given compass.”
“I admire [Brian’s] discipline and perseverance. Whether its running marathons or committing to read the Bible daily, when Brian decides to do something, he is always all in. I was drawn to this type of humble dedication as I also wanted to grow in this area of my life. When I started to take dating more seriously, I made it a priority to look for someone whom I could see lead me into becoming a more faithful and humble woman. Brian has definitely lead by example in this area of my life.
Brian is a funny mix of analytical and emotional. At times, he likes to solve problems with logic and facts, but is also very sensitive to how others are feeling around the room. I enjoy the fact that I can explore these different facets of him and trust that his perspective is well rounded.
Brian is very optimistic about most things. Because I lean more towards the pessimistic side of things, sometimes this trait of Brian’s causes some conflict. However, I’ve learned that ultimately, he has taught me that pessimism sometimes reflects my lack of trust in God. While it’s challenging to be optimistic all the time, I am appreciative that Brian is leading our family to be more appreciative of our blessings and to remember to trust God in all aspects of our life.” // Connie
I love how Brian talks about his future wife to be. Here are the three words Brian chose to describe Connie:
“Generous – Connie is generous in spirit, love, and material. She’s empathetic, thoughtful, and seeks to take care of others. I was blown away toward the beginning of our relationship, when she noticed I didn’t have many plates at home, and despite our difference in means, bought plates and forks for my apartment on her graduate student stipend.
Intentional – Connie’s always been intentional about everything she does, which was very attractive to me. She knows what she wants, and they’re almost always good, Godly things. She also does not hesitate (see below) to speak what is right, and make her asks plain, often to the benefit of those around her. I found my way back to church after 10 years away due to her intentional efforts in bringing me back to community.
Courageous – Connie has always possessed the humility and courage required to speak her mind. She has the courage to express her intellect and morality, but also humility to also reserve the possibility she might not always be right. Owing to these characteristics, it’s always relatively easy for us to emerge from conflict wiser and more mature.”
As we walked around, John & I easily got to know Connie & Brian more! It was sweet getting to see them talk to one another, and also equally awesome to see how they both really cared to learn more about us, too! I love sessions that don’t feel like work, but more like hanging out and getting to know one another! :)
So how did Brian propose?
“I proposed to Connie on top of my favorite cycling climb in the Bay, Mt Hamilton, on the pretense that I wanted to take a tour of the observatory at the top. I had arranged for one of my best friends to stake out for photos of the event, and had it all positionally planned out. However, it was a blisteringly hot day (98F) and as we finally made it to the top through winding roads, Connie said she really preferred if we just went straight inside.
Convincing her to momentarily first “take in the view,” I started to give an elaborate speech on how the winding switchbacks were a metaphor for how far we’ve come in our relationship, and how the observatory pointed to how far we might yet go… but Connie reminded me again of how hot it was outside (her “get-to-the-point” style shining through here), and so I got on one knee and proposed.” // Brian
Haha! I would’ve been right there with you girl with it being such a hot day! But man, what a thoughtful proposal! I love that connection between the view and their relationship!
“Jeff, one of Brian’s groomsman was sneakily hiding in the background documenting the whole speech and moment.
[Then] We prayed together…thanking Jesus for his gentle guidance and fierce love that helped us and will continue to help us build a life together.” // Connie
Getting to the point of being engaged can sometimes mean a lot of back work was done. I loved hearing Connie & Brian share about some things they’ve grown in since the start of their relationship!
“I’ve learned that no one is me and that I can’t and should not make anyone into a replica of me. Brian and I have so many differences in personality and habits and preferences and often it’s easy to try to just get him onto my side of things. However, I’ve learned that being truly loving to someone means letting them express who they are and learning to love all the parts that are hard to love as well. It makes things more interesting anyhow!” // Connie
“Growing up as an only child, it’s taken some time to become more self-aware of the ways selfishness can manifest, and intentionally practice being generous in the ways others appreciate most…
Like many couples, we’ve had differences between our individual perceptions of money create conflict, often in unexpected moments. We’ve found the only ways to address our difference of perceptions is like how we would resolve any conflict – honestly, and with humility try to understand the root causes of our preferences (and resulting anxieties), and intentionally try to find a compromise solution. Compromising isn’t comfortable, but the flip side is compromise often allows us to personally experience new life perspectives.” // Brian
I think what Brian shared is so applicable to any point of conflict! Learning how to resolve conflict is a constant learning challenge, and learning how to speak honestly with humility is so important!
“We’ve struggled with understanding and thinking clearly during heated moments. I turn into a “mom” figure who thinks everything he says is immature and end up being condescending and he has trouble controlling his emotions. I can’t say that we’ve “overcome” this struggle as it will be an ongoing battle, but one thing in our last big fight stuck with me. We realized that we were both trying to control the situation by imposing our own individual power dynamic. We figured that’s actually how a lot of the world deals with conflict—someone has to “win.”
However, with careful thought into how Jesus deals with situations, He always approaches people at their level or lower than their level with servant leadership and a humble heart. Philippians 2:3. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves.” // Connie
Love how Connie put that. Amen.
There is so much more that I could share about these two, but I’ll save it for their wedding blog in the future! Hehe
But before I sign off, I wanted to share the words they had for those of you who are engaged or seriously dating!
Words they clung to as they dated that helped them grow and press on:
“I will be to you as I should even when you are not who you should be to me.” // Connie
“”Commitment makes decision-making easier and removes any fear of missing out; knowing that what you already have is good enough, why would you ever stress about chasing more, more, more again? – Mark Manson” // Brian
And lastly, their own words of advice:
“Eat at Soup Plantation/Sweet Tomatoes together often.” // Connie
(YESSS. Soup Plantation is actually a favorite of me & John’s, too! Haha!)
“I have found commitment is about recognizing that everyone (including myself) comes with baggage, sometimes unknown even to myself. We cannot take on baggage for others, but have to be there to support those we love.” // Brian
Connie, Brian! I am SO EXCITED for your wedding on Saturday! HOORAY!