Hello everyone! It’s been a while! Life has been kind of kicking my butt and it’s been a bit harder to sit down and thoughtfully blog! But I’m glad to be able to take time to blog this sweet couple that’s getting married THIS SATURDAY! Woohoo!! 

I’m not sure if I could use one word to sum up Chris & Mary! Maybe I’d use the word intentional? Or maybe silly? Or maybe sweet? I felt like as time went by, I got to get to know them a little more, one step at a time, and from what I could sense, these two definitely compliment one another! :) And now, with one week away from saying “I do” I am just so excited for them to be tying the knot!! 

Though there’s a little bit of debate on when they first met, Chris & Mary agree to share that they met in college through a Christian fellowship called Intervarsity!

“Mary will never let me go about this, but apparently I first met her at a large group meeting at our college Christian fellowship and forgot all about it – there were a lot of people to meet that day! In my head, I met her during our leader’s retreat in the summer of freshman year and I thought she was pretty cute.” // Chris

From Mary’s point of view, they met when “we turned and shook hands when the speaker told us to turn to the person next to us
and say hello.”

“The next official meeting is probably when we started as leaders of IVBCF in the same dormitory 2 nd year. I remember thinking, “He looks so serious.” But then I saw his huge grin when someone made him laugh, and I realized he had a sense of humor. And I liked it when I got him to laugh uncontrollably at my lame jokes.” // Mary

I can definitely see what Mary was talking about because Chris did seem a little serious to me at first, too! But once he started cracking jokes & corny pick up lines, all the smiles & laughter were contagious! Haha! This is definitely why silly comes to mind when I think of our time together! :)

Before I share too much of their story, let’s dig into their engagement session! Special thanks to Grace Yellow for second shooting for me while John was busy! We met Chris & Mary officially for the first time in Pasadena! I was on the second floor of City Hall when they came in a couple minutes early, ready to dive in! I love it when my clients are on time or a little early! It gives a little more time to warm up!

The way Mary describes what attracted her first to Chris is just so sweet.

“I remember one day sitting in the music room with Chris, and he put his fingers on the piano and played. I don’t even remember what he played, but I swooned. I closed my eyes and let the music take me away. I was honestly so impressed and music is the way to my heart. I also love laughing at random inside jokes with him. When I make him laugh, my heart feels full.” // Mary

I love that last line. :) Throughout their session, as they laughed together and talked together, I definitely saw so much sweetness and love in their eyes…

“She gets me. I love how we can laugh really hard at some random inside jokes we’ve made up together, and enjoy these small moments that only we can appreciate.” // Chris

Now the way these two began dating brings back memories to how John & I began dating, as it was a bit of the similar scenario. I love that they covered it in prayer! 

“Although he “officially” asked me out, we definitely collaborated in the process of figuring out whether we wanted to date each other. It all happened in the hall of our dorm, in the wee hours of 3/6/12. We were starting to really like each other and spend a lot of time together but wanted verification from God before beginning our relationship. So after taking an agreed amount of time to not speak to each other, we spent individual time to pray and discern.

Then, right when our time ended, a Facebook message popped up of Chris asking me if we could talk now. It was actually really difficult not to talk to him, so I was excited that he was ready to talk but nervous to see what would come out of it. Our conversation ended up being thoughtful, extremely affirming, but awkward. We had both received confirmation through our time apart that dating each other would be an exciting journey that God was giving us the green light for. So he asked, and I said yes! And I put my head on his shoulder very awkwardly for the first time…” // Mary

This deep thoughtfulness makes the word intentional come to mind for me. I can sense their intentionality with how they’ve been planning things with their wedding and even in the questions they ask me!

And of course, Chris ended the story of the start of their relationship by mentioning: “From what I remember, we were sitting outside her dorm at like
3am and decided to make it official by posting a relationship status on Facebook.” Gotta have that Facebook Official stamp! ;)

“[Chris is] reliable. When I need something, he’s got it. Whatever “it” is. He is prepared for rain or shine, cold or hot, bandaids, drinks, tools, scissors, you name it. He’s always carrying around an extra jacket, because he’s a good fiancé and knows I get cold sometimes. And there’s nothing more attractive than a guy who knows when you’re cold and takes care of you. Take notes, fellas!

He’s sacrificial. He sacrifices time, money, driving time, sleep, brain power, all for me. And I let him know I appreciate him when I can, but I know he does it because love is sacrifice. Especially when we think of the way that Jesus modeled love for us.

And, he’s ticklish. Oops, maybe I shouldn’t say this out loud for everyone to hear. He hates it when I tickle him but it’s so funny to watch him giggle and try to swat my hands away.” // Mary

Now while Chris shared that his favorite memory of them was their first date where they visited the Hammer Museum and ate “a delicious sandwich” and sat on Bruinwalk together afterwards, Mary let us in on a funny little story at the beach! Haha!

“The memory that comes to mind is the time when we went to a beach together and walked down the shoreline. I picked up some shells on the way and took a picture after arranging them on the rocks. Then I started to leave and Chris picked up the biggest conch shell and threw it into a nearby tidepool, saying that someone is probably gonna try to get it and has to work for it.

As we were walking back, we passed another couple walking together. We kept walking, and Chris looked back after leaving a safe distance between us and them. He wanted to see if the guy would try to get the shell. Sure enough, the guy tiptoed on the side of the tidepool and reached down deep into the water to grab it. Unfortunately for him, he fell into the water! As his girlfriend struggled to grab him out of the water, he looked forlorn as he sat on the side of the tidepool. I looked at Chris in horror and his mouth fell open. We just stood looking at each other, not able to believe what had just happened. Now when we think about it, we just laugh and laugh about it because it worked too well. Poor guy.” // Mary

 

“For me, there wasn’t a moment or a lightbulb that suddenly went off in my head where I suddenly decided that I was in love. Love is a house that is built brick by brick, and it is tested by the rain and fire. As a couple the best thing to do is to continue building that house even when it’s being battered by the storms of life, and in the end, you’ll find that you’ve built a beautiful thing together.” // Chris

We finished up our time in City Hall and moved on towards a small garden afterwards, allowing Chris & Mary to change into something a little cozier! :)

Now you may be wondering how Chris popped the question by now! I love how Chris started off his summary of the proposal!

“She’s always said I’m bad at surprises – if I don’t accidentally spill the beans, she’ll find out what the surprise is another way and get disappointed that she found out. Therefore, I decided to really surprise her this time with the proposal.“

And it worked! Mary shared that she was honestly very surprised! In fact, Chris worked so hard to surprise Mary on this that when she ended up having to work on the original proposal date, he quickly shifted gears, working “furiously” to help ensure that it was a complete surprise!

The plan began with a date for a fancy dinner and looking at Christmas lights! But little did Mary know that the proposal would actually be cliffside next to the ocean! :)

“The point where something felt a little weird was when we finished our episode of Running Man, and I was laughing and sitting on the bed and wanted to mingle a little longer. Chris got up and suggested that we drive to Palos Verdes and walk along the cliffside before dinner. I didn’t understand what his hurry was, but I shrugged it off and agreed to go. Chris then drove a little bit crazily to the cliffside, but I didn’t think this was out of the ordinary. He later told me he was trying to make it on time. As we drove up, I had this really weird intuition where I thought to myself, “Wouldn’t this place make a really nice proposal spot?” But I brushed it off again, thinking that he wouldn’t do it now cuz I would have figured it out. I had always told him that he was bad at surprises.

He decided that since I thought he was so bad at surprises, he would keep this one really well. And he shocked me! We got out of the car and he put his arm on my shoulder and led me to the cliff. This was also out of the ordinary, but he covered it by asking me questions and talking to me. He asked, “Do you see us walking along this cliffside when we’re old?” And I was like Yeah! And our conversation trailed off and I started describing the beautiful scenery. Once we got to the edge, he stopped and took a deep breath and looked at me. He said, “Do you want to know my answer to that question?”And I dumb-foundedly asked, “What question?” He exclaimed, “The one about growing old together!” And I knew. He had this look on his face that showed his nervousness and intent, and I could not believe it.

He told me, “Close your eyes for 5 seconds and you’ll know my answer.” And I was in shock. I did what he said, turned around and he was kneeling on one knee with the ring out. My mouth dropped and I put a shaky hand to my mouth as my body and brain tried to process what was going on. But my emotions had reached its peak and I could not express anything; all that was there was shock. He had a very sweet speech prepared and I stood there as he professed his love for me. He asked me to marry him and I said, “Yes…?” with my voice trailing off, still trying to grasp what was happening. He forcefully laughed, “I’ll take it!” and got up from his knee. I realized my questionable consent, and said it again, with more conviction, “Yes!” He held my hand and started putting on the ring, but he was trying to put it on the wrong hand! So I corrected him and he laughed and slipped the ring on the correct finger. Then he revealed that our friends were hiding among the whale watchers taking pictures of our proposal. I was finally understanding what was happening and expressing the flooding emotions through awkward laughter. I later found out that they had been praying for no rain so that we could successfully do our proposal, and it promptly started to rain as we got to our dinner reservation. Thank God! Dinner was upscale and delicious, with an oceanside view, followed by a rainy viewing of Christmas lights with our friends. Now I give him credit for planning such intricate surprises.” // Mary

I love how Chris ended his explanation of the proposal with “I don’t think I had ever seen her so surprised. Mission accomplished!” Great job, Chris! :)

I was grateful that these two decided to share  struggles they’ve been working on in hopes of encouraging others who might be struggling with it, too! 

“We often struggle with balancing the amount of us time and alone time. I think I sometimes equate his wanting to be alone, to him not wanting to be with me. But as we’ve grown to understand each other, I know that he just needs time to recuperate from a long day or take introversion time. This is absolutely not a bad thing. Now, I understand a little better that when he says he needs a break, he is not rejecting me or neglecting me, but explaining a need to have time for himself. Although it’s not perfect and I sometimes still feel upset, we are working through it.” // Mary

Learning different things about one another can be so insightful! But still hard to adjust to! John & I definitely had a couple moments of learning and adjusting, too! :) 

Chris also shared about the struggle of being able to cherish one another even through busy times, something John & I also definitely had to learn!

“One problem we’ve had was how to find time for each other (or how to make the other person feel prioritized) when we’re busy with other activities. I think our current solution to that is to remind ourselves and each other that if we had the time, we would be spending it with each other! Especially during this busy wedding planning season, we really treasure the time that we have together.” // Chris

John & I have also found that during busy times, affirming one another can be so invaluable to helping us feel connected!

“We have a tradition of going to a Shane & Shane/Phil Wickham concert every year (for the past 3 years now) and their beautiful voices inspire us and point us to God. However, the song that inspired me the most is Shane & Shane’s Psalm 23.

“Surely goodness, surely mercy
Right beside me all my days
I will dwell in Your house forever
And bless Your holy name.”

It’s right from the Bible’s Psalm 23, but as I’ve said before, music and worship is the way to my heart, so I really sit in the truth of these words when I hear this song. It just reminds me of God’s goodness in my life, and in our relationship. You should go listen to it!” // Mary

I love Mary’s heart of praising God for the goodness in her life & over their relationship! :)

One of my favorite parts of their session was having Chris carry Mary on her back, something Mary shared that she treasured from their session, too! It was the first time allowed him to do that, & it was cute seeing him run around proudly carrying his wife to be! It was really sweet! :)

As the sun set, we ended on a cuddling note! :) And as I end their love story, I wanted to share some words of encouragement/advice they had for those of you seriously dating or engaged! 

“Weddings are expensive! Just kidding. I would tell them to remember that a marriage doesn’t solve problems. If you are arguing about financial problems before marriage, guess what? You’ll argue about it after too! So just make sure you talk things out before deciding whether you two are going to make that commitment to each other daily for the rest of your days.

It’s too easy to avoid problem issues before a wedding because the wedding takes up the forefront of the mind, but at the end of the day, the wedding passes and you’re stuck with that person for life. So why not get stuck with someone you want? Also, you’ve probably heard this before, but make sure you don’t just love someone, but that you like them too. Better yet, marry your best friend. The inside jokes and awkward fun makes the downs of life so much more endurable.” // Mary

Haha! I definitely agree that marriage isn’t a “solve all”, but instead it’s a commitment and covenant you make before God to patiently & sacrificially love one another with an active love that endures through tough struggles & problems! Each day in marriage, you have to choose to love one another. So it’s definitely helpful to have the tough talks! You’ll have many more arise throughout you marriage, but I think the tough talks you have can help you see how tough talks in the future may be, too! & Of course, it’s always a huge plus if your spouse is like your best friend! ;)

I liked Chris’ words of advice about communication, too!

“One piece of advice is that communication is such an important part of a relationship. It is important to communicate well and communicate often, because miscommunications happen all the time! Always try to see things from the other person’s perspective, and work on a solution together.” // Chris

Giving one another the benefit of the doubt is something John & I have found to be incredibly beneficial too! It’s hard sometimes in the heat of the moment, but it’s so helpful in working together as a team! Communication is always so important!

Chris & Mary, I am SO EXCITED FOR YOU GUYS! :) The weekend is going to come up so quickly!! Hooray!!

Happy Tuesday!